Life After Divorce/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Posted on August 4, 2020


Divorce is a traumatic event but there has to be life after divorce. How does one begin to put together the foundation of a new life? Divorce Magazine conducted an interview with Dr. Harville Hendrix on this topic and others. The article was published on August 26, 2019, and simply entitled as “Exclusive Interview with Relationship Expert Harville Hendrix”. The excerpt I would like to focus on here is the following:

“Divorce: What are the benefits of being single?
Harville Hendrix: Many people who marry have never finished their adolescence. So after a divorce, many people are in some sense single for the first time: …They never really get out of a social structure, and there’s no period of aloneness. And sometimes that contributes to the breakup of the marriage: they start acting out their adolescence in the relationship. So there’s a tremendous benefit to experiencing the freedom of aloneness. You have so many more options for doing things—people travel for the first time, or start reading for the first time—you have time to think about what you want to do, what you are feeling.

Singleness can give you a deeper awareness of who you really are—not someone defined by some relationship.”

Dr. Hendrix is not pointing out “the joys of divorce”. Rather he is emphasizing the opportunities available to the newly, or not so newly, divorced person. Being part of a “couple” is an important part of human experience. But so is the single status as well. Divorce can break, or make, the individual in their life journey. Focus on the positive aspects of single life, discover who you are, and utilize the “freedom of aloneness” to your ultimate benefit.