Getting to Yes/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Posted on April 29, 2020


I recently took a CLE course in mediation styles. I enjoy seeing how other mediators apply their trade. The mediators teaching the course had very different ideas than do I about the manner and goal of their mediation style. Since mediation is referred to as an art rather than a science, this difference of style and emphasis does not surprise or disappoint me. In fact the opposite is true. Mediation allows the mediator and the parties to bring their own personality and style to the task of getting to yes. My trainer, Atty Zena Zumeta, gave us the following insight, among so many other insights about divorce mediation: “If a couple, or a party wants to resolve their difference, the worst mediator in the world will get them there. If they are resistant to resolving their differences, the best mediator in the world will not get them there.” You have to want to resolve your dispute. If you (and your partner) truly do have that desire, you will get to yes. Get the best mediator you can locate, but the “heavy lifting” is up to you. Mediate don’t litigate.