Focusing on the Positive/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Posted on October 8, 2017


Tevi Troy, a former HHS official, wrote an article for the WSL entitled “”In Hurricane Relief, 2 out of 3 Ain’t Good”. Mr. Troy discusses how it only takes one failure, such as Katrina, to mark a president’s tenure as unsuccessful. “(Y)ou can do a great job with weather disasters for four years, but the one you falter on is the one for which you’ll be remembered.”

In a marriage, there are invariably high points and low points. A couple going through a divorce will likely remember the low points. Mediation might be a time to reflect and remember that the times were not all bad. There were possibly the following: birth of children, family get-togethers, vacations, etc. Dwelling on the positive, even as a divorce process unfolds, is a realistic way of looking back at a marriage. It will certainly help in the efforts to work together to get to the goal of Win-Win.

I have heard of a clergyman who advised his flock to take their wedding album to divorce Hearings, negotiations, and sessions. He wanted the parties to remember that there were good times as well as bad times. This memory softens the sting of the divorce process. It maybe true that in hurricane relief, 2 out of 3 ain’t good. But life is rarely black-and-white. It is complex and nuanced. A good mediator can help a couple remember that, even as they plan to move on in their life’s journey.