Discussing Divorce With Children/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Posted on August 26, 2017


Donald T. Saposnek penned an article for mediate.com on the topic of “What Should We Tell the Children?”. Dr. Saposnek is a therapist and mediator, and has several cogent proposals about breaking the news of divorce  the children. Some of is thoughts follow:

*Tell the children of the reason for the divorce. Avoid having the parents take the respective roles of “good guy” and “bad guy”. This will not he helpful to the children and is is too simplistic a narrative for the sake of transparency and honesty.

*Do not wait. Tell the truth is advance. Why wait till others share their view of events with friends and relatives.

*The discussion should be a joint and collaborative effort. This will go a long way in de-mystifying the narrative.

*Explain the new routine, scheduling, etc that will be the reality for the children post-divorce.

It is not easy for parents to discuss their divorce with the children. However, the alternative of letting others control and style the narrative is far more frightening and destructive a proposal. The “divorce story” should be in the parental domain. The children deserve that much, and more.