Who Cares?/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Posted on December 5, 2016


Rep. Paul Ryan was asked on “60 Minutes” if it bothered him that President-elect Trump tweets such fallacious claims such as the “fact” that millions of illegal votes went to Secretary Hillary Clinton in the recent election. His reaction was characterized my many as being roughly the following: ” Who cares. He has a job to do and he will be judged solely on whether or not he succeeds.”

For the purists among us what Mr. Ryan said was totally unacceptable and disappointing. But in the larger picture, what he is saying is that people are not perfect beings and sometimes you just have to overlook the faults in search of a greater goal.

In a divorce mediation, the temptation to point out every failing of the other party is great. Why let them them “get away” with anything. But there are larger goals such as the stability and well-being of the children, the need for personal mental health, and the need to go on with the next chapter in life. Your spouse was no prize? They likely have already assumed that you believe that. But if the choice is focusing on negatives or planning for one’s future, the latter should take precedence. Sometimes, even for purists, the time comes when one has to think, or say “Who cares. it is now time to move on?” This is something that the mediation makes you ponder. Mediate don’t litigate.