Showing Up/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Posted on November 12, 2016


Woody Allen once said that 80% of life is just showing up. My feeling as a mediator is that if I am fortunate enough to have the parties in the mediation, the odds are in our favor. Many people rule out mediation. Of those who do not rule out the prospect, a fair number choose not to show. So it is indeed true that the act of showing up at the mediation makes a resolution quite possible.

The question to consider is why do some people not show up for a mediation? I have often asked myself that question. I posed it to a therapist. Her answer to me was as follows: “You assume that people are seeking a resolution to their dispute. Some people choose to hold onto their rancor and bitterness. They seek revenge or confrontation rather than resolution.”

So there you have it. If you have a dispute you can seek a resolution or you can settle for  an impasse. The act of showing up at the mediation is an act of faith and confidence in the human potential to seek positive solutions and outcomes. Indeed, the act of showing up is quite meaningful. It is the victory of hope over ongoing despair.

Mediate don’t litigate.