Mediation Wisdom/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Posted on January 11, 2016


Stephen Anderson, Esq. is a former attorney whose professional time is now spent as a mediator in England. He was recently interviewed by a newspaper which discussed the increase in divorces during the month of January. (The article also discusses a day known as “divorce day”!) In discussing how divorce mediation can be most helpful in dealing with numerous issues (e.g. children’s issues) Mr. Anderson had this to say: “[Mediation] is not about keeping together. Increasingly, people think it is about looking forward.” Mr. Anderson has the belief, correctly so, that if issues need to be resolved, and the options are talking them through or battling over them. the only true way to resolve differences is through talking over the issues. The article aptly sums up this thought by quoting Winston Churchill who once said that “Jaw-jaw is always better than War-War.”

The comment that mediation looks forward is a very poignant one. Divorce can temporarily mitigate the feeling of confidence and hope in the future that people need to possess. Mediation stresses problem solving and healthy communication. It puts a party in position to think about the future and its promise. Battling a former spouse will never achieve that. The hyphenated terms of jaw-jaw and war-war pale by comparison with the formula mediators call Win-Win. Mediate don’t litigate.

The article cited above can be found at