Marriages Which Fail;People Who Don’t/Martin Rosenfeld.JD

Posted on September 7, 2015


I saw a comment on social media about the work of Debbie Ford, who has written about “Spiritual Divorce”. Ms. Ford has articulated that it is possible to attain healing in the aftermath of divorce by viewing the positive aspects of the relationship that has just ended. Ms. Ford emphasizes that even in failed relationships, there are positive “gifts” that survive the divorce. Parties who have gone through a divorce can find healing by considering some of the questions below:

What people or hobbies do you now have in your life that you have not always had?

What events have your participated in that have built character or the feeling of accomplishment?

What personal traits have you developed that have made you a better person?

Have you become more vigilant in advocating for that which you need and/or deserve?

What coping skills have you implemented in your life?

What have you learned about co-parenting successfully?

What have you learned about the need to remain silent even in the face of unacceptable behavior?

What have you learned about the need to speak up in the face of unacceptable behavior?

Senator McCain once told an interviewer that “There is no upside to feeling sorry for yourself.” Even in divorce, perhaps because of it, we grow as human beings. This may very well be the ‘spiritual” aspect of the divorce process articulated by Ms. Ford.