Getting the Last Word/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Posted on August 16, 2015


For football fans of the NY Jets, last week was a frustrating one. The starting quarterback, Gino Smith, was the victim of a surprise punch (in the locker room) that broke his jaw. He will likely miss half of the season. The punch was thrown by teammate Ike Enemkpali. He was immediately released from the team. What did Ike then do? He thanked the Jets for giving him the chance to play football. No excuses and no whining. On the very next day, he was picked up as a player on another team. It is not unlikely that Ike’s humble and grateful statement as he left the Jets, smoothed the way for a transition to another football team.

A couple going through a divorce will likely say and do many hurtful things. Negative statements linger for a long time. It may not be a bad idea for the parties to leave the marriage with a note of contrition or regret or even gratitude for the good times that once existed. If you have a choice between ending a relationship on a positive note or a negative one, the positive route will have more “bang for the buck”. The upside far exceeds the downside. What harm is truly done by ending on a note that is conciliatory in some fashion? Even football players seem to understand that.