The Scarring of Children of Divorce/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Posted on July 7, 2015


A prolific writer on divorce and its impact on children, Rosalind Sedacca, has posed an engaging question. Does divorce scar children or is it the divorcing parents who bring about the scarring? Ms. Sedacca suggests a concept of child-centered divorce. The divorcing parents need to commit to co-parenting their children post-divorce in a supportive and positive way.

Divorce will affect more than half of all marriages in our country. Divorce is no longer the rare occurrence that is a taboo subject. Children of divorce and not alone in their challenges nor do they need to do much explaining about divorce to their peers. It follows therefore that the parents can offer support to their own children in the aftermath of divorce to lessen the toll it will exact. What follows are some suggestions to lessen the divorce impact:

1. Look for warning signs of depression, anxiety, etc and ensure that your children get the support they need.

2. Encourage children to openly discuss their concerns and fears relative to the divorce situation that exists in the family.

3. Look for ways to reassure the children that divorce does not deprive them of two parents who will love and care for them.

4. Guarantee that both parents can maximize their time with the children.

5. Do not criticize your ex in the presence of your children.

6. Do not use your children as a sounding board for your own frustration. Let them enjoy being kids.

7. Reassure your children that divorce was not because of anything they did.

8. Encourage your children to talk about anything they feel or are experiencing.

9. Become informed. There are many helpful articles online on this important topic.

By being open with your children, and by stressing that both parents do love them and care for them, you will be performing a great service for your children and for their future happiness.