Children and Divorce/Martin Rosenfeld, JD

Posted on November 16, 2014


A recent post by Eden Strong appeared at Huffington Post regarding children of Divorce. It was entitled:”What I Told My Daughter When She Asked Why Dad Left”. The gist of the article is summed up in one paragraph:

“You be honest — that you don’t have all the answers, that you wish you could make things better but that you can’t. You let her know that it is okay to be upset and that you will always be there when she wants to talk. You remind her on a near constant basis of how wonderful she is, reinforcing that her father did not walk away from her because of anything that she did.”

One of the takeaways from life’s traumatic events, is that we do not always have answers. For those who have been hurt, there is a need to talk. For those who wish to be helpful, there is the gift of listening. In many ways, mediation provides the perfect paradigm for these transaction. Mediation involves talking and listening. The litigation model provides for neither of these experiences. In a prior post, it was mentioned how a radio caller, now in his 30’s, stated that not a day has past in his life, during the last couple of decades, that he has not thought back to the day he learned of his parent’s divorce. There are no easy cures for such hurts, but surely contested litigation is not one counted as one of the ways that can begin a process of healing. Mediate don’t litigate.