Divorce as Shalom Bayit?/Martin Rosenfeld

Posted on November 11, 2012


A recent blog post appeared on mediate.com (http://www.mediate.com/articles/TamirD3.cfm) that deals with “The Shalom Bayit Divorce”. While the topic may be discomforting to some, Attorney Denise Tamir make a case for an early, mediated divorce when a marriage has become dysfunctional. Ms. Tamir makes a strong case for the advantages of mediated divorce in the context of principles of Shalom Bayit. Among the positive reasons for seeking to mediate a divorce, the following factors are considered.

-Mediation requires respectful behavior on the part of the parties. Such learned behavior will be helpful not only in the process of divorce, but will also shape the post-divorce behaviors.

-Mediation will allow the parties a chance to discuss the need to prioritize the needs of their children.

-The need to seek retribution, revenge, etc. is virtually eliminated when a divorce is guided by a trained mediator.

-Mediation will ensure that the process of divorce will be more private, less costly, and more quickly resolved.

The post gives an added dimension to the term “Shalom Bayit”. The tranquility that is necessary for a happy relationship is also needed when that relationship needs to be ended. It ensures dignity and civility. We can never have too much of either virtue, even in times as trying as the dissolution of a marital relationship.