Divorce Negotiations/Martin Rosenfeld

Posted on August 5, 2012


Diana Mercer, Esq. recently posted a discussion on divorce negotiations at mediate.com. Her post was based on her book on divorce entitled “Making Divorce Work”. Some of Diana’s points follow:

1. In negotiations always begin with the “small stuff”. This allows negotiations to meet with early success and builds confidence in the process. The momentum of small agreements will hopefully carry over to larger and more complex matters that will follow.

2.  If the negotiation is encountering some bumps, the parties need to ask themselves some questions. “Am I being reasonable?” “Are my offers fair?” Always review your actions and try to see what leads to negotiation standoffs. Once you know where the problem lies, come up with alternate strategies and communications.

3.  The reality testing requires a person to ask how likely they are to win if they force the issue through litigation or even hard-nosed negotiations. What is the benefits of their present course of action and what are the risks?

Mediation works best with a trained mediator. However, Ms. Mercer reminds us that parties can utilize the features of mediation in their own negotiations. A hybrid position, is for couples to negotiate what they can before they begin mediation, and then let the mediator deal with the outstanding issues. The objective above all is to avoid confrontation and litigation. Mediation theory works in many different ways. But like all healing substances, it only works when it is used properly. Mediation works. try it in your negotiations. The results will be rewarding.