Divorce & Grandparents/Martin Rosenfeld

Posted on May 20, 2012


A blog on grandparents, children, and divorce recently appeared in the NY times. The author, KJ Dell’Antonia, had several cogent points to make on the need to encourage this relationship post-divorce. Readers added  pertinent comments as well. We can all appreciate that children should not be robbed of this relationship, even when parents are no longer married to one another. Some suggestions include the following:

1. Keep lines of communication open. Do not assume that the relationship will follow the same old rules. Work on keeping channels open.

2.  Divorce affects all family members. Grandparents may be reluctant to freely come over for regular visits. Issue invitations to ensure positive relationships.

3.  Be aware of children’s needs. It is obvious that significant events in a child’s life will normally be enhanced by the presence of grandparents.

4.  Do not assume about relationships that are post-divorce. There are pleasant surprises that occur when people, in good faith, work on continuing positive relationships.

5.  This comes from a reader…Keep extending the hand of reconciliation even if that hand is sometimes bitten. A worthy goal. Focus on your child’s needs; you can’t go wrong with such efforts.