What is Low-Conflict Divorce?/Martin Rosenfeld

Posted on September 11, 2011


Heidi Stevens of the Chicago Tribune wrote a thought-provoking article on divorce that appears on the HuffPro website. Most marriages that end in divorce are attributable, says Ms. Stevens, to low-conflict causes and not adultery, scandal, etc. She puts the figure on low-conflict divorce at 60%.
What happens in low-conflict divorce. We stop paying attention to our spouses. We play the “blame game”; we project our failings on our spouse. This can be overcome according to Dr. Fran Cohen Paver: “Things go awry, but that’s our basic nature. We were born to love.”
The good news of low-conflict divorce is that the solution is not overly complicated. The key to continued romance is attention. We are bidden to talk with our spouse about “stuff” and not merely work, etc. Be interested; tell stories; ask questions.
The short-hand of the above is that romance ends when communication wanes. Is it not strange that one often feels couples put more effort into getting divorced than they ever did in trying to sustain their marriage? An article worth reading.