Me First/Martin Rosenfeld

Posted on January 2, 2011


An op-ed column this past year by Gail Collins, in the NY Times, lamented the fact that “Me-First” is still a common refrain in America, and the President has been unable to change that. As proof of that, the column cites the New York City opposition to having the 9/11 terrorist trial in NYC. Is “Me-First” the motto that will doom American society? I think not.

It is natural, and wise, to think of your own interests first. Hillel, the Talmudic sage, summed it up well: “If I am not for myself, who is for me?”. The problem we need to negotiate is that the other party is thinking the same “Me First” as we are and our differences have to be negotiated.

How does one negotiate this in a divorce proceeding? A trained mediator can get the “warring” parties to focus on the need to get to “Win-Win” where there is something for everybody. Win-Win trumps even the cry of “Me First”. How to get there is the task of the mediator. This can, and does, happen frequently. Divorce Mediation is a civil and affordable way of resolving issues in a divorce matter. Mediation makes for an equal playing field by getting to a Win-Win situation. Two parties both achieving what they basically want out of a mediation process.  It sounds hard to believe but it does work. Mediation is worth your consideration.