Shedding My Mask:Facing Divorce/S.L. Weinstock

Posted on December 4, 2010

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(This is excerpted from an article at http://www.Chabad.org)

For you see, the life I was living before my marriage fell apart was a life so full of fears and anxieties that it was impossible to maintain my sanity through it all. It was a life of overwhelming unease, of fear of being found out, of fear of the future and of unknowns in the present. It was a life that was so far from normal living that I never felt calm, never felt at peace with myself, never felt I knew what I was doing when.

Having shed my mask, that mask of steadfast loyalty and determination that I wore for so long, I can finally say it like it is: Divorce is hard. Divorce is agonizing. But it’s not a pretense. I can rejoice because at last I’ve found myself. I’m no longer an imposter, a fake, trying to hold onto a marriage that so obviously isn’t working. I am me, me, me, and it feels so good just to say that. I’m not a hopeful young wife anymore. But I am me. No more pretending. Just me – with a rainbow of opportunities spread out ahead of me.

My life’s not over yet. Divorce or no divorce, I’m ready to begin again.

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