To Be or Not To be…a Bully/Martin Rosenfeld

Posted on October 11, 2010


A spate of articles and book reviews have appeared of late on the topic of bullying. Bullying begins, we are told, at an early age, and affects girls as well as boys. The behavior is believed to start early and it can have devastating effects. There is nothing positive that can be said for this behavior.

In the legal arena, there is an equivalent of bulling; it is called litigation. Endless discovery, legal challenges, and delay tactics form the high-minded parallel to bullying behavior. This litigation model can have the same damaging effect as bullying…as it impacts on self-esteem, on trust and ultimately on family cohesion. Bullying is behavior that has no redeeming value. If you are embroiled in a divorce action, ask yourself whether the litigation model is truly what suits you best. The choice may well be between mediation-civility and litigation-bullying. How do you want to look back at your period of divorce. Bullying gives the sense of power; mediation gives the sense of civility and decency. Which one suits you better? As a mediator, I would bet on civility. It beats bullying by a country mile. Mediation works. Try it.